I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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