My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
