do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
