So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
