Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
