Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
