You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
