I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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