Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Randomize
