mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
