What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
