currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
