I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
