Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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