My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
