Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
