Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
