We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
