she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
