How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
