we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
