DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
