Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
sarcasm needs its own font
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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