I can tuck mytits in my pants
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
