did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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