Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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