i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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