"it" just moved
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The best revenge is premature balding
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
