If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
do herpes really smell.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You may now shotgun with the bride
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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