At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
