So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
