at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Randomize
