We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
