Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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