Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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