just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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