I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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