Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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