he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
3 2 1 whiskey
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
