Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
