And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
