why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
