Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Someone shit on the floor
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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