shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
