my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
