this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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