My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
