I should be sponsored by Trojan
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
