thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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