I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
